The New Generals

The New Generals

By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor









Field Report: On the gridiron, the game has devolved into a spazzed – out version of “rough touch” statistics driven not for wins and losses but for dollars and cents – as fantasy football numbers are included on game day scoreboards – disgusting!

I submit the following evaluation on the heels of my previous N-Files reports for RBG* (Reparations by Graduations)

Cue ‘Patton’ reverberating trumpets:

Generals in Exile: all stats (win/loss, touchdown to interception ratio, passing percentage, passer rating, playoff record and x-factor) provided by Pro Football

Tarvaris Jackson: Part of the 4-way crunch in Buffalo, sits behind stats eater Ryan Fitzpatrick; Bills keep Tyler Thigpen (1-11 lifetime record as starter over Vince Young) 17-17, 38/35, 59.4, 77.7, 0-1, 4 game winning drives;

David Garrard: Forced out in a numbers game at Miami – injured during pre- season; dismissed by former Jacksonville Jaguars owner J. Wayne Weaver as being ‘lazy’ because he “wasn’t Payton Manning” (39-37, 89/54, 62%, 85.8, 1-1, 17 rushing TDs);

Seneca Wallace: always competitive, has won games, but doomed to backup status (6 -15, 31/18, 59%, 81.3, 4 game winning drives);

Donovan McNabb: Should be Hall of Famer forced out in Minnesota; better playoff record than HOFers Dan Marino, Dan Fouts and Jim Kelly (98 – 62 – 1, 59%, 85.6, 9-7, 29 TDs, 3459 yards rushing);

Dennis Dixon: A numbers game in Pittsburgh (2-1, 1 /2, 59.3, 71.4, 1 game winning drive);

Troy Smith: Injury cost his chance to start for Baltimore back in the day; played for Singletary in San Francisco (4-4, 8/5, 51.7, 78.5, 2 game winning drives)

Vince Young: Smeared by some people in the league to be perceived as dumb and/or suicidal; told his ‘mechanics need work’ – but the real truth is closer to the inhuman way he was treated by Jeff Fisher and blackballed by every asshole that supported the coach’s actions toward him while in Tennessee; current won/loss better than half the QBs starting in the league now (31-19, 46/51, 57.9, 74.4, 13 game winning drives, 12 TDs 1459 yards rushing, 2- time Pro Bowl performer)

The Bull Pen

Charlie Batch (Steelers): Fought B.S. about his inability to run the West Coast offense when the starter in Detroit; now ‘Dr. Sinister’ is praised for being the ‘wily veteran’ – the football writers’ hypocrisy is undeniably cruel. (25-30, 61/52, 56.6, 77.2, 10 game winning drives)

Byron Leftwich (Steelers): Another former starter who is more of the traditional drop – back passer (24-26, 58/42, 57.9, 78.9, 10 rushing TDs, 10 game winning drives)

Jason Campbell (Bears): Fate as a starter forever changed with an injury; The Oakland Raiders lost their momentum – and their Muthafuckin’ minds – by severely overpaying for the very overrated Carson Palmer via trade. (31-40, 76/52, 60.9, 82.5, 10 game winning drives)

In Training
Dominique Davis (Falcons), Joe Webb (Vikings), Josh Johnson and Thaddeus Lewis (Browns) Terrelle Pryor (Raiders)

In Limbo

Brad Smith (Bills) No QB with the talent skill sets available has ever been as wasted as Brad Smith. How ironic the NY Jets wanted to gain the back page of the local dailies by extolling the virtues of Tim Tebow as Smith 2.0; in spite of the Jets’ blatant misuse, Smith became an All – Pro as a special teamer playing out of position.

Michael Vick (Eagles): Although he should be suing his offensive line for non- support, with the success of the sprint option run by Kaepernick, Griffin III, and Wilson, he can be a fascinating X-factor for the right team; whether the racist bastards who refused to vote for him as Second Team All – League in 2010 want to admit it or not, he still scares the shit out the league; and he already knows the sprint-option, having run it at Virginia Tech! (56-43-1, 122/81, 56.3, 80.7, 1-2, 11 game winning drives 34 TDs, 5526 yards rushing, 4 Pro Bowls, Comeback Player of the Year)

Tyrod Taylor (Ravens) in spite of Joe Flacco’s success, Taylor would be my choice as the QB Most Likely to save a Team’s Bacon if the starter goes down. Had the offense down pat in his rookie season and was calling audibles in the preseason.

“Wounded in Battle”

Aaron Brooks (destroyed by front office ineptitude in Oakland; beaten down to the white meat because his O-line couldn’t block those deep vertical routes Al Davis insisted on running)
(38-52, 123/92, 56.5, 78.5, 18 game winning drives, 13 TDs 1534 yards, rushing);

Kordell Stewart (co-opted into conforming as a ‘pocket passer’ after succeeding at being a major matchup problem) 48-34, 77/84, 55.8, 14 game winning drives, 38 TDs {35 rushing, 3 receiving} 2874 yards of offense, one Pro Bowl appearance)

Shaun King: First screwed by the league by the phantom call on the infamous Bert Emanuel reception as Tampa Bay’s QB; then screwed by Jon Gruden’s worthless ass because he didn’t teach him anything except to remind him he was a Nigger playing a position he didn’t want him to play; finally screwed himself with his asinine comment about Earl Campbell after the Hall of Fame running back said that Bill Belichick’s cheatin’ ass should have been banned from the league after New England’s Spygate scandal (14-10, 27/24, 56.2, 73.4, 6 game winning drives)

Daunte Culpepper: Injuries and bad timing did the most damage (41-59, 149/106, 63.0, 87.8, 17 game winning drives 3 Pro Bowls)

The Joint Chiefs of Pass

Cam Newton, Carolina Panthers: For all the grief heaped upon this young man – questioning his maturity (he’s a kid for doing the ‘Superman” across his chest after scoring, yet every Green Bay Packer who scores at Lambeau Field is just “expressing their joy for the game?”) for the bastards and disgusting Niggers like Nolan Nawrocki who trashed him without even assessing his football acumen, Newton stays far ahead of the curve.

Although he has a weak head coach in Ron Rivera (stick to coordinator) and, in spite of sputtering a bit has a chance to improve (or, at worst equal) his win total in his sophomore season.

That he was the Offensive Rookie of the Year is likely the cause for stirring some ire among League – watchers. In their minds, if he can’t be Super Nigger, then clearly he’s not championship material; which leads us as to why many in the Press Box are annoyed when he does the “Superman” – they can’t stand to see the Cam Newtons of the world succeed.

Oh, by the way – has anyone ever found out how much Auburn paid Newton? You could ask Gene Chizik (but I guess he ain’t talkin’) or Danny Sheridan (who mysteriously shut the fuck up after he said he knew who it was and was gonna drop dime; guess the NCAA didn’t want that comin’ out on Front Street with their pimpin’ asses!).

All the bullshit aside, Newton came in on the strike, picked up the offense with little problem after assholes like Jon Gruden took jabs at him with the ESPIN QB pre-Draft skits. He accounts for 35 TDs and I guess he can play under center now, can’t he?

Newton’s current stats: 12-19, 41/28, 59.2, 85.2, 23 TDs (22 rushing, 1 receiving – 1446 total yards).

Colin Kaepernick, San Francisco 49ers: Selected in the second round of last year’s Draft, Head Coach Jim Harbaugh saw Kaepernick much in the same way more objective viewers saw Newton. Possessing similar size and speed, Kaepernick also has a potentially exceptional throwing arm.

Kaepernick’s assets elevated him to starter after first-stringer Alex Smith was injured. After Smith’s return, Harbaugh kept Kaepernick as the starter, in contrast to an old pigskin axiom (starter never loses his spot to injury). Since becoming the main man under center, Kaepernick has been under major scrutiny, losing two games, but showing sustained brilliance in a national game against Tom Brady and the New England Patriots.

In a tie and loss with their division rival St. Louis Rams, Kaepernick drove the ‘Niners to winning positions in both games – only to have kicker David Akers miss in both situations; yet was criticized for not getting the job done.

The bigger reason for wanting to dump on Kaepernick has more to do with the predictions that San Fran was going to be a serious Super Bowl contender- with Smith at quarterback, but not necessarily because of Smith at QB; and they don’t want that “Doug Williams moment” to happen again.

Then another loathsome Nigger named David Whitley writes a poison piece on Kaepernick’s tattoos, equating them with his persona being synonymous with a convict, never knowing all Kaepernick’s tattoos were outer expressions of his faith, as confirmed by his mother Teresa, who voiced her displeasure after AOLFanhouse put that piece of shit out on display (guess who didn’t interview the person they wrote about?)

Now that San Francisco has clinched a playoff spot, the scrutiny will be even more intense; but I think Kaepernick can take the weight.

Kaepernick’s current stats: (4-2, 8/3, 63.1, 95.5, 5 TDs on 408 yards rushing).

Robert Griffin III, Washington: It wasn’t winning the Heisman Award that did it; nor was it the six-game winning streak that did it.

Because we at BASN saw this greatness in his freshman year, and we wrote it before anyone. We called Griffin III a “quarterback” – not an “athlete” (read Nigger in ESPN’s translation of the word).

In spite of his talent to read defenses, run away from trouble while looking down field and throwing arguably the best deep ball this side of Warren Moon or Jeff Blake, Griffin wasn’t legitimized in the mainstream’s eyes until his senior year (with the contrary creeps still looking to deny him because of the color of his skin).

With his selection by Washington as the second overall pick, the League hoped for good – and got great instead. But after a late – season injury forced him out for one game, the anal warts who desired to see Griffin III fail questioned whether he could beat an opponent primarily from the pocket (which he did last week vs. Philadelphia).

Regardless of what may happen Sunday in the final game against rival Dallas, Griffin III has put the League on alert; that the Field Generals will succeed no matter what the odds.

Griffin III’s current stats: (8-6, 20/5, 66.4, 107.1, 2 game winning drives, 6TDs on 752 yards rushing)

Russell Wilson, Seattle Seahawks: While there is no doubt this new crew of Field Generals are possessed with speed, strength, size, poise and skill, the one category which defies description is the application of the axiom “best man plays.” Because Seattle Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll followed through on this premise he may have lucked into a lifetime career situation; now that Seattle has a true franchise quarterback.

Think about it – Jim Zorn was from the leftover pool during expansion; Dave Krieg was good but far from great; Dan McGwire was 6’8” when drafted and got beat down to a 5’2” statue; Kelly Stouffer was another stiff; Rick Mirer was second after Drew Bledsoe when drafted, showed a little something his rookie year, then fell on his face – and Warren Moon, while still capable, showed up at least a decade too late – no fault his.

So after acquiring free agent Matt Flynn (and paying beaucoup bonus bucks for him after essentially one game) Seattle’s selection of Wilson seemed strategically safe.

But the young man’s strategy once selected, was to be far from safe.

Wilson came to camp and out thought, out scripted, outperformed and outplayed Flynn, ascending to opening day starter – and did not disappoint.

While naysayers wanted to pick at Wilson’s size, they never noticed things that were consistent during his college career translated to the pros.

Having seen a lot of his games while at N.C. State and Wisconsin, I have never seen any receiver of Wilson’s dog or short arm a pass thrown to them; and especially in Seattle, every receiver lays out for him.

Is it because of his command of the huddle? Is it because of his ability to elude the rush and make chicken salad outta chicken lips? Whatever it may be, it’s likely because Russell Wilson is a confirmed bad-ass – who knows every time he steps on the field – any field – he expects to win; and his teammates feel that.

You say, sure – everyone expects to win, but Wilson is truly unique. He is an Old School throwback, with elements of many great QBs in his game, even in these early stages; and before anyone attempts to scream on the size thing, Wilson isn’t doing anything that Tracy Ham or Condredge Holloway or Chuck Ealey couldn’t have done if given the chance.

The League now has a bigger problem, which may again show itself in the playoffs now that Seattle is in (especially after being screwed by the refs in the Super Bowl against Pittsburgh): as beautiful as the Pacific Northwest is (having lived there I can testify to this) it’s not sexy enough for the NFL. They don’t want a stronghold of perpetual playoff power permeating throughout the Emerald City; but as long as General Wilson leads his team, they will just have to deal with him.

Oh, about that bit re Wilson showing flashes of the old champions? The one he reminds me most of – is the great Detroit Lion QB, Bobby Layne. Why you ask?

Because you don’t beat Russell Wilson – he simply runs out of time.

Russell Wilson’s current stats: (10 -5, 25/10, 63.4, 98.0, 3 game winning drives 3 TDs on 431 yards rushing).

To be continued…Agent Chanticleer Piper signing off (end transmission).
Always outnumbered – never outgunned.
Copyright c 2012  – 2013 Michael – Louis Ingram all rights reserved.

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