Live By The Shuck, Die By The Jive!
By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor
“Funk used to be a baaaaaaaad worrrrrd…”
PHILADELPHIA (BASN/STR – ITR): Back In the Day, one of the coolest things (for me, anyway) about collecting record albums was some of the great titles that went with the great music. Like “Composite Truth,” “Psychedelic Shack,” “Last Days and Time” and “The World Is A Ghetto.”
But when former ESPN Mouseketeer Rob Parker got fired for attempting to one – up resident jackass Skip Bayless, the title that immediately came to mind was Funkadelic’s “America Eats Its Young.”
Parker, who once upon a time was a solid journalist, sold his soul to The Mouse via his semi – regular appearances on their show “First Take.”
During the December 13th edition of the show, on the heels of the rising popularity of Washington quarterback Robert Griffin III, Parker tried to play the “Is It Black Enough for Ya?” game in assessing Griffin’s soul status beyond the melanin in his skin.
Calling Griffin III a “cornball brother,” and clearly having an issue with Griffin III’s fiancé being White (none of his fucking business), Parker harangued about Griffin III being “down with the cause” (whatever the fuck that is) and, in true Mouse Misinformation, never elaborated on the “things” he heard – or the sources where they came from.
All of this bullshit having nothing to do with the ability to beat the blitz from the pocket, or find secondary and tertiary receivers; from the tone, one would think Parker has never indulged in red meat, White women or Republican Party core beliefs.
But the nature of his rant came from someone who seems to ‘protest too much’ – and those muthafuckas just let the cameras roll!
Nowhere within this time frame did this dipshit gather his thoughts to do damage control. Had he implied Griffin was a little nerdy, I don’t think folks woulda had a problem with that (guilty as charged on the ‘nerd’ tip).
Had Parker instead said Griffin III seems “comfortable in his own skin” in an attempt to balance out his diatribe, it could’ve helped.
However, if the goal was to gain responses via hits on their pages or to tweak the twats of their Twitter Critters…mission accomplished!
Let’s not be cute about this – The Muthafuckin’ Mouse (to make sure no one missed it) ran the segment again supposedly to create a point of discourse…and as the heat from this built up, Parker was eventually suspended for 30 days on December 20.
A statement from ESPN contends they took “appropriate disciplinary measures” with those responsible for airing the comments. What the fuck did you do, you scumbags – give them a Muthafuckin’ raise???
Resident anal wart Stephen A. Smith was clever enough to see it coming, and in classic “My Name is Bennett – and I ain’t in it” mode, backed the fuck up from Parker quicker than you could say “subject and predicate” – knowing Parker had gone down a road no one but only the Head Asshole is allowed to go…but don’t take Smith’s bony ass off the hook just yet – where was he to speak of how fucked up the comments already were to prevent them being shown on national television…the next day?
So, while suspension and subsequent firing seem coincidental, let’s not ignore the 1200 pound Go – Rilla in the room; who’s to say the National Football League didn’t sweat the Mouse Men to sacrifice Parker’s Black ass as a proper pound of flesh for interfering with the cash flow for their new star?
Don’t act like this isn’t possible. Remember when ESPN ran the series “Play Makers?” The NFL told them straight – up if you expect to partner up with us – that shit is coming off the air! So why wouldn’t they say, “That Nigger has gots to go!”
Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve seen that series anywhere in cyberspace. Hmmmmmmmmm…but y’all see my point.
Perhaps Parker was promised a show – and he felt the need to follow through on directives from upper management (what the fuck do you think they have these production meetings for?) in attempting to be as over the top as Bayless and Smith; but like many Mouse Mouths before him, Parker’s lip slipped once too often.
In the final analysis, will Parker get another job? Perhaps – ya gotta eat after all, and I hear Wal – Mart is hiring. Was Rob Parker paid a little extra somethin’ – somethin’ under the table to perhaps soften the blow – knowing he acted like an ass on the company’s behalf? Could be…
But ultimately, can Rob Parker look at himself in the mirror and see a credible journalist that isn’t a fucking hypocrite?
To quote Parker: “NO WAY…NO HOW!”
Is THAT Black Enuff For Ya? (Dumb Ass!)
Oh, by the way – for Robert Griffin III; it’s okay to be compared to Warren Moon, brother; he won more championships than Brady, in fact, he won five in a row – no one’s ever done that; just tryin’ to help out).
Always outnumbered…never outgunned.
Copyright c 2013 Michael – Louis Ingram all rights reserved.