Sports MCs Soul Lunch Break
By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor
(first presented February 1, 2009)
PHILADELPHIA (BASN/BASN NEWSROOM)— “Coming to you LIVE from that den of sin and iniquity, Philadelphia’s own “Bob & Barbara’s” – the “Home of the Special” those notorious rascals, the “Sports MCs” with Soul Sunrise!
DJ Hunnycomb : Yes, baby we are back again and the MCs are breakin’ bread here with the gang at Bob & Barbara’s with our favorite bartender – everyone say it with me:
HC: As we have been catching up with everyone since we last popped in, we figure this is also a good time to let the listeners know what we’ve been up to individually. So I pass the microphone to Mr. Wendell Simpson, MC Good Foot and find out what’s goin’ on…
Good Foot : Well, I am casting for my first film project, and we are shooting it in Philadelphia. We’ve just about finished casting, and it will be a short feature that we will enter at some of the film competitions around and see what happens.
HC: All right, brother! You’ve got everything working except the monocle and the German accent! Now to our other compadre, Professor K, Chris Murray, winner, by the way of the Sam Lacy award for Sports Writing (applause) . My brother, what’s on your plate?
Prof: Well, it’s like this; I’m just plugging away at the Trib, doin’ my thang, and again I have to say the award was a humbling experience for me. The stay in Kansas City was great, and, I gotta tell all the listeners out there and our guests here that everyone should visit the Negro League Baseball Museum. As we are now into Black History Month, I feel it is imperative that those who can go must go and see this awesome testament to our perseverance and culture – the Baseball Museum is a must – see.
HC: Well said, Professor. Now before our cheese steaks arrive, I think it’s time to sink our teeth into a subject we sometimes take for granted, especially now with the Super Bowl come and gone. Venus and Serena Williams, affectionately known among the MCs as “The Goddess” and “The Huntress” have again gone Down Under and whipped all kinda ass at the Australian Open.
Although Venus got taken out early, she regrouped with Sista Serena and bagged the doubles title; while Serena merely jumped on everyone and, in the Women’s final, dispatched a game but outmatched Dina Safina in less than an hour to gain her 10th Grand Slam title. Serena now has hit double figures in Grand Slams and is hot on the trail of Margaret Court Smith, Chris Evert, and our gal Martina Navratilova.
Fellas, are we missing something here? Do you think American tennis fans are showing enough love to these awesome performers? Good Foot – who, by the way wrote an excellent “ninja journalism” style piece on the Williams girls awhile back on Blackathlete.com – tell us what’s up?
GF : There’s no question the Williams girls are not feeling the love; it’s as if it’s an aside for the commentators that they are experiencing the success they are.
But what I like about where they are at now is that they are young enough to continue to play at a high level, yet old enough to not be fazed by the haters and those who grudgingly acknowledge how great they really are.
HC: Sounds like some good ground strokes there. Professor?
Prof : Well, the Williams sisters have proven time and time again that not only are they formidable opponents in singles competition, they are also one of the most dominant doubles combinations of all- time. What I wanna know is — where are the Brothers? James Blake gets us excited every now and then but, there’s no consistency like what the Williamses produce…
HC : Point to the Professor – where are the Brothers? Although we got cats like Tsonga and Gael Monfils representing world – wide, we need the males to step up. And, speaking of steppin’ up, lunch is about to be served. But before we get into this food, Butch – you know we gotta go to our brother – what it is you enjoy most about what Venus and Serena have done for the sport of tennis?
Butch: Man, those are some bad – ass sistahs! They are beautiful women, and even more beautiful to watch when they compete. Watching them is like seeing Cleopatra Jones and Foxy Brown in an old-school double feature! (Cheering)
HC: Hell to the yes! You got that right, my brother. To summarize – to the lithe, Althea Gibson elegance of Venus “the Goddess” Williams and the graceful leonine power and fire of Serena “the Huntress” Williams we recognize greatness personified, knowing the Sista Gals have more in store for themselves and for us fans who watch and root for them to do well.
So we will play this tune for the Sistahs as we dig into this lunch.
Today’s Menu: Dirty Blues!!!!
“Wanna Big Laig Woman” (lyrics by Michael – Louis Ingram)
you’re too short and i’m too tall you like the summer and i like fall;
if you want to stay home, i wants to ball but as long as you’ve got these
it don’t mean a thing at all Chorus I wanna big laig woman inna short-short miniskirt!
I wanna BIG LAIG WOMAN inna short-short miniskirt!
Just raise those thighs above my eyes little lady Lay back and watch me work!
I’m a simple man with simple tastes I know what I want; I’ve no time to waste Pretty eyes are sexy if they’re brown or blue But I just want something firm that I can hold on to…
I wanna big laig woman inna short-short miniskirt!
I wanna BIG LAIG WOMAN inna short-short miniskirt;
Just raise those thighs above my eyes, little lady
Lay back and watch me work!
Now I don’t think you heard me when I first drove up so if you’re listening to me now I’m gonna make it perfectly clear…
well I don’t rob & steal I don’t fuss n fight I need-ah something soft to keep me warm at night; I may not drink champagne or dine on caviar but I know who I am and we can go real far; I don’t need no crowd I work best alone (yeah!) I ain’t no dawg and I don’t want no bone cause I’m a SIMPLE MAN WITH SIMPLE TASTES I KNOW WHAT I WANT I’VE GOT NO TIME TO WASTE I say your eyes may shine your teeth may grit but none of this stuff, baby are you EVER gonna git!
I WANNA BIG LAIG WOMAN INNA SHORT-SHORT MINISKIRT!
(Lawd hab mussy!) I WANNA BIG LAIG WOMAN INNA SHORT-SHORT MINISKIRT!
(ha-hah!) JUST RAISE THOSE THIGHS ABOVE MY EYES, LITTLE LADY LAY BACK AND WATCH ME WORK!
Copyright 1992/2009 4/30 Music.