Nuckin’ Futs!

Nuckin’ Futs!

By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor


(first presented March 30, 2009)


2009 Final FourPHILADELPHIA (BASN/BASN NEWSROOM)— My colleague, Dr. Boyce Watkins’ eloquent combinations of parries and thrusts in his sparring with the NCAA would have scored a shutout were this a fencing match.

But since we know the Nigger Control of the Actions of Athletes (NCAA) would gladly lose a debate than cash “mon-ay”, they will run like a solitary rat rather than collectivize and offer a climate for proper compensation for its’ workforce.

To paraphrase Dr. Watkins, “If the University of Kentucky can pay its men’s basketball coach $6 million to leave the school, some of those dollars could surely be redistributed among the 12-15 young men running up and down that court, instead of crying poverty…”

What if the NCAA gave a basketball tournament and nobody came? That is the burning question as the aspect of fairness has been co-opted now with the BCS mindset which has further poisoned college football and has now spread to basketball.

But for that to happen there was to be a meeting of the minds – and of the spines; because the NCAA will not deal as long as they are dealing from the bottom of the deck – er, strength…

It will take a situation where the NCAA will not be able to bullshit their way out keeping their pimp hand firmly on their wallet before administering the yearly bitch – slap that brings in billions for Pimp Flava Supreme – aka Myles Brand.

If our new president says he’s down for education then just as it was against the law to teach slaves to read, it should be against the law for institutions of higher learning to endorse the greed.

So with all due respect to The First Baller, what’s it gonna be? Lay Ups, Books, Down? Or are you gonna step in and snatch the pimp cane from Flava Supreme? We shall see…

As to the actual tournaments themselves, I feel for the men’s tourney; the women’s tourney has proven to be far more exciting and feels less rigged because it still seems as if teams in the tournament are there on merit and not as a funds – gathering apparatus for the Five Families (cue mandolins).

As CBS loves to pump its NCAA theme music to the max, I was inspired to recall a little ditty I heard once onstage in my teen years.

Given the spirit in which the NCAA has made clear their intent as a not – for – (the student – athletes’) profit organization which can pull in more money in three weeks than the gross national products of most Caribbean countries – and keep all of it, this tune seems to fit the script:

(Lyrics to “Great White Father,” from the Broadway musical “Purlie” – written by Gary Geld; you should be able to find it on Rhapsody or perhaps YouTube:)

On sacred hill above the Pine; in a hallowed hall

There reigns a Dynasty Divine

We pray shall never fall;

And so we come from far & near

To shed a sentimental tear

To raise our voice in song & cheer

The GREAT WHITE FATHER of the Year!!!!

Oh, we the humble haven’t much – but we do not mind

De Lawd has given you the Whip;

And us the BLACK BEHIND;

And so we come from far & near; to shed a sentimental tear

To raise our voice in song & cheer


You so enrich the lives we lead – we heed your every word;

For we are like the Georgia soil

And you’re the Georgia TURD…

Oh, we know your whippin’s are but love

KISSES in your mind;

If it’s love you want, then don’t be shy;


And so we come from far & near; to shed a sentimental tear

To raise our voice in song & cheer


And we’ll be back after these messages…


always outnumbered – never outgunned.

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