PHILADELPHIA (BASN/BASN NEWSROOM) – I write the following with apologies to Stephen Sondheim, because to borrow a line from his lyric in this column is apropos given the abhorrent abuse of power exhibited by these Bellicose Bastards from Bristol and their performance of A Little Night Censorship… 

So the Ersatz Scumbags’ Psychotic Notion in which they believed the news could be assembled like a fantasy football team fizzled in prime time. The alleged sexual assault by Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger on a young woman in Lake Tahoe, Nevada was covered by every news service (including ours) before The Mouse would squeak one syllable.

Why the “World Wide Leader in Bullshit” attempted to squash a major story doesn’t even matter now; for The Mouse has played itself.

Everyone who works under their banner is as journalistically genuine as a three-dollar bill; and it couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch.

But what was even more insulting was the idea that they thought the industry would allow these counterfeit muthafuckas a pass!

The New York Daily News’ Bob Raissman is, in typical Noo Yawk terms, a mensch; he read ESPIN and spoke truth when he said, “It was more important to protect Roethlisberger than report a civil suit had been filed against him…”

Raissman goes on to further take ESPIN to the woodshed as he questioned The Mouse’s motives:

“Perhaps this was really all about stupidity. Now, how can ESPN voices ever accuse anyone of stonewalling, concealing facts or covering up without being laughed at? ESPN’s designated management mouths offered a number of unconvincing excuses for not reporting the Roethlisberger story when it broke.

The initial ones went like this: “No criminal complaint was filed” or allegations in a civil suit “may not prove to be true.” Another excuse was ESPN is “careful” in reporting civil suits “that impugn a person’s reputation or character.”

 

Well you sure as hell weren’t too concerned with impugning Marvin Harrison’s character when you put out the info on a shooting in Philadelphia; Harrison, who has been the good soldier and solid citizen without the fanfare – and no prior criminal record. When push came to shove, however, Harrison was just another nigger for the 6:00 p.m. woodpile.

Or the constant haranguing over everything Terrell Owens does in spite of the fact he has never committed a crime. What the fuck is your problem? You must have a Mandingo complex or something – are you so jealous of the big, Black buck that your resentment forwards your agenda?

 

Just exactly what is the over/under on the amount of hard-ons you all must get per day because of the frequency in which you feel compelled to say anything about Owens?

 

The Mouse proved they would screw their own employees before being screwed by any negative fallout from their methodology.

I wonder just how many tubes of KY, Vaseline and corn cobs were actually used in this Orgy of Arrogance?

 

One thing’s for sure – although I was not there, it is safe to speculate there was lubricant used; because that many assholes getting fucked simultaneously would have made a lot more noise and been heard a lot sooner than two days after the story broke!

 

I genuinely feel sorry for Mr. Bob Ley, the only person at the Mouse Hole I respect – because his anchor work on the “Outside the Lines” series was true to the game. Upper management, however, pulled him right into the stink with their decision to protect their investment in Roethlisberger.

 

Earlier efforts to censor the fourth estate by ESPIN were brought up by the BostonGlobe’s Chad Finn:

 

“ ESPN has not been reluctant in the past to report on civil suits, including one involving Patriots receiver Randy Moss that was eventually dismissed. As recently as June 3, it had reported on a possible civil suit against the Lakers’ Shannon Brown.

 

“What accounted for the policy change? That remains the great unanswered question here. But one doesn’t have to be an incurable cynic to wonder if ESPN’s reluctance had anything to do with Roethlisberger’s involvement with ABC’s upcoming ‘Shaq Vs.’ television show, featuring basketball star Shaquille O’Neal taking on a variety of athletes in their respective sports. ABC and ESPN share the same parent company, Disney.”

 

Did you really think we would forget ” Play Makers”? And how the NFL seemed to “nudge” you into shelving the show after the first season?

 

Everyone who works in the Mouse House shouda known better, especially after you tried to fuck over Harold Reynolds in a sexual harassment suit. I won’t pretend to know the particulars; what I do know is Reynolds is one of the best at his profession; and the fact you settled the suit kinda tips off who was really culpable.

 

All together now: M-I-C…K-E-Y…You Dumb S.O.B…

 

And what about Erin Andrews, who the New York Post was gonna scream on before The Mouse roared and barred them from the premises? Being videotaped in the nude would seem to be no big deal since you “made the ‘make it rain’ video” available. But of course, Adam Jones is a known felon, as is Michael Vick; Lord knows you work enough hard enough to remind everyone!

 

You love to see those niggers in chains, don’t you?

 

Gold or steel – it doesn’t matter.

 

In a USA Today column written by Michael Hiestand, ESPN executive editor John Walsh was quoted regarding the handling of Andrews: “W e felt as if we were the parents of the victim of this crime” and wouldn’t “being doing justice” to Andrews if we saw the word, ‘ New York Post‘ on our air.”

 

The Post later replied “that no one would have known” the video was online if ESPN last week hadn’t asked a website to take down a link…

 

Did ESPN do “justice” to Steve McNair’s mother and loved ones by reporting his blood alcohol count knowing the body was riddled with bullet holes and he was already buried? Whose interest did that serve?

 

Sounds like a front office decision to me; oh, well – guess that’s not a family affair…

 

Well, I guess if “entertain” is what you meant to do, you surely tickled our fancies!

 

And if every Black athlete wondered whether you were full of shit or not, shame on their ass if they don’t know now!

 

If they don’t know every time you go into “police blotter” mode on your High Felonition screens, they can see several people who look just like them; and they’ll also know decisions to hold back the felons of the Caucasian persuasion (like, say, er, Matt “White Lines” Jones or Jim Leyritz) further guarantee Black men are seen primarily as animals and inhuman – whether they have committed crimes or not.

 

And don’t get it twisted – the only reason you put Jeremy Mayfield’s NASCAR stuff out on Front Street is because he was allegedly putting other white drivers in danger!

 

Even when virtues of a Black athlete are extolled; such as when Baseball Hall of Fame inductee Jim Rice was lauded for his quick action in saving a kid’s life during a 1982 game, a talking ESPIN airhead named Steve Bunin talked about Rice’s “softer side” during a HOF press conference. So, of course, since Rice wasn’t grinning, he had to be an angry Black man the rest of the time; what a dumb fuck!

 

Well, I guess there’s nothing left to say after that except…dah dah dah – dah dah dah!