PHILADELPHIA (BASN/BASN NEWSROOM) — No sooner than the day he was set free from his sentence, Michael Vick was once again indicted.

 

The multi-talented quarterback, after paying his debt to society on July 20, was greeted with footage of him in chains heading to the courthouse and a week worth of propaganda provided by that bastion of journalistic morality, The Rat, er Mouse – ESPIN.

 

Every one of their henchmen (save Cris Carter, bless his heart) made their case to either further suspend him or move him to another position or Wildcat this and Wildcat that.

 

It is thanks to Carter that, ironically I am giving a Mouse employee credit for saying the one thing the National Football League and most of mainstream media didn’t want to hear.

 

One of The Mouse’s programs had Carter turning to and saying to what’s-his-name Hasselbeck, (paraphrasing) “You’re telling me right now there are 32 quarterbacks in the league better than Michael Vick?

 

Hasselbeck then mumbled some nonsense about, “there’s more to it than that” (whatever the fuck ‘that’ is) before taking his foot out of his mouth…

 

So whether we allow something like facts to get in the way of the story, this much we know is truth (allowing me to channel Frank Herbert): the NFL is afraid Michael Vick will drink the Water of Life.

 

So now with the “conditional reinstatement” of Vick, the time has come to further elucidate on Carter’s question…

 

With thanks to Pro-Football-Reference.com. for being the source for this piece, we now take a trip through the NFL and match every QB’s win-loss record, passing percentage, and rating, those stats in that order.

 

We will only use QB’s who have been charted to be starters or have at least 3 starts. The number of QBs in each section will be highlighted next to the division, and the number of QBs there I feel Vick is better than will be highlighted by a (+).

 

As of right now, these are Michael Vick’s career QB stats:

38-28-1, 53.8, 75.7 (57% win percentage, and has averaged 643 yards rushing yearly since coming into the league)

NFC EAST (4)

New York Giants (Eli Manning, 42-29, 55.9, 76.1); Philadelphia Eagles (Donovan McNabb, 82-45-1, 58.9, 85.9) Washington (Jason Campbell, 16-20, 59.7, 80.4) Dallas Cowboys (Tony Romo, 27-12, 63.6, 94.7)

Breakdown: Manning has a better record, but not necessarily better; but he does have the SB ring; McNabb has beaten Vick head to head and also has a SB pedigree; concede Campbell and Romo – no playoff wins and I see his W/L dropping now that Mr. Owens has split the scene. Vick +2.

NFC NORTH (6)

Green Bay Packers (Aaron Rodgers, 6-10, 63.2, 91.8); Chicago Bears (Jay Cutler, 17-20, 62.5, 87.1) Detroit Lions (Daunte Culpepper, 41-54, 63.3, 89.0) Minnesota Vikings (Tarvaris Jackson, 10-9, 58.4, 76.5; Sage Rosenfels, 6-6, 62.5, 81.2; Brett Favre {if signed} 169-100, 61.6, 85.4)

Breakdown: Nearly a clean sweep. Cutler choked in Denver’s playoff drive- and the “Next Elway” proved he wasn’t shit; but, of course no one said he choked. I feel for Jackson because no matter what Favre does, his career has been compromised. And the so-called “legend” got his ass whipped in Lambeau Field by Vick- it wasn’t even close. Vick +5.

 

NFC SOUTH (5)

Atlanta Falcons (Matt Ryan, 11-5, 61.1, 87.7); Carolina Panthers (Jake Delhomme, 50-31, 59.7, 85.1) New Orleans Saints (Drew Brees, 55-51, 63.9, 89.4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Luke McCown, 1-6, 59.7, 75.2; Byron Leftwich, 24-22, 58.6, 80.3)

Breakdown: Delhomme does have SB appearances, but he did bitch-up big time in the playoffs against Arizona last year. Brees puts up stats, but not wins; can you imagine what Vick could do with those offensive weapons? Vick +5.

 

NFC WEST (7)

Arizona Cardinals (Kurt Warner, 57-44, 65.4, 93.8; Matt Leinart, 7-9, 55.8, 71.7); Seattle Seahawks (Matt Hasselbeck, 58-45, 60.1, 84.5; Seneca Wallace, 5-7, 58.5, 83.4) St. Louis Rams (Marc Bulger, 40-47, 62.6, 85.6) San Francisco 49ers (Shaun Hill, 7-3, 64.0, 90.5; Alex Smith, 11-19, 54.4, 63.5.

Breakdown: Warner & Hasselbeck have been to the dance; Hasselbeck’s road record is deplorable, however – and unless he has a Pro Bowl quality comeback season, an in-shape Vick would push ahead of him, too. Vick +5.

AFC EAST (4)

Buffalo Bills (Trent Edwards, 12-11, 61.6, 79.1); New York Jets (Kellen Clemens, 3-5, 52.0, 59.3) Miami Dolphins (Chad Pennington, 43-34, 66.0, 90.6) New England Patriots (Tom Brady, 87-24, 63.0, 92.9)

Breakdown: Brady is the only clear winner; Pennington has a winning record, but who do you want throwing that 55 yard Hail Mary pass on the last play of the game? Vick +3.

 

AFC NORTH (7)

Pittsburgh Steelers (Ben Roethlisberger, 51-20, 62.4, 89.4; Charlie Batch, 22-28, 56.1,); Baltimore Ravens (Joe Flacco, 11-5, 60.0, 80.3) Cincinnati Bengals (Carson Palmer, 32-33, 63.7, 88.9; Ryan Fitzpatrick, 4-10-1, 58.6, 66.9) Cleveland Browns (Derek Anderson, 13-14, 54.6, 75.1; Brady Quinn, 1-2, 49.5, 65.8).

Breakdown: Again, Roethlisberger is the clear winner. No disrespect to Flacco or Matt Ryan, but let’s see you do it again; remember, Vick is a 3-time Pro Bowler.

Vick +6.

 

AFC SOUTH (5)

Tennessee Titans (Kerry Collins, 79-85, 55.7, 73.8; Vince Young, 18-11, 57.3, 68.8); Jacksonville Jaguars (David Garrard, 24-22, 61.2, 85.4) Houston Texans (Matt Schaub, 10-14, 63.5, 86.2) Indianapolis Colts (Peyton Manning, 117-59, 64.4, 94.7)

Breakdown: Once again, Peyton Manning is the clear choice and the best in football; everyone else, take a seat behind Mike. Vick +4.

 

AFC WEST (6)

San Diego Chargers (Philip Rivers, 33-15, 62.3, 92.9); Kansas City Chiefs (Matt Cassel, 10-5, 62.9, 92.9; Tyler Thigpen, 1-10, 54.5, 74.7) Denver Broncos (Kyle Orton, 21-12, 55.3, 71.1) Oakland Raiders (JaMarcus Russell, 5-11, 53.9, 73.9; Jeff Garcia, 58-58, 61.6, 87.5)

Breakdown: Philip Rivers gets a slight edge because of the talent he’s had to work with and because he’s won games in spite of having Norv Turner wearing the coach’s headset. Vick +5.

So, from the assessment based primarily on what matters most – wins and losses, here is where Vick stands: Out of 44 NFL quarterbacks rated, Vick comes in at No. 10. I nudged him just ahead of Delhomme because of that bad home playoff loss; while Delhomme has a slightly higher win percentage at 60%, you shouldn’t get your ass whipped – at home – the way the Panthers got beat against Arizona.

 

I included Favre only because of the attempts to bring him in to break the consecutive game record, so Vick would be No. 9 without Favre. So (sans Favre) we have Peyton Manning, Brady, Roethlisberger, McNabb, Rivers, Warner, Eli Manning, Hasselbeck and Vick.

 

Also take into consideration who these QBs have as their supporting cast, in case anyone wants to say something stupid about where McNabb is rated as well; I dare anyone to win with the supporting cast McNabb had to work with over a prolonged stretch of time – but we’ll save that argument for later.

 

Mr. Carter, in my humble opinion, has more than made his point.

 

Next Time: More Damn Lies…and Statistics!