Seven and Out

Seven and Out

By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor


(first presented September 27, 2009)


NFLPHILADELPHIA(BASN/BASN NEWSROOM) — Each week the National Football League puts their significant moments on display. “Seven from Sunday” may focus on highlights, but there are some other considerations that may put a damper on the big picture…

Here, according to the NFL’s league office, are the highlights from Week 3 – along with our responses:

  • New York Jets rookie quarterback MARK SANCHEZ became the first rookie quarterback to start and win his team’s first three games of a season after leading the Jets to a 24-17 victory over the Tennessee Titans.

(Although the Jets are 3-0, Sanchez, who’s been called “Sanchize” by some members of the New York press, will be called a “spic” just as quick should the Jets hit a prolonged losing streak. Stay focused, Matt – we want you to do well, but keep that shit in perspective…).

  • The New England Patriots, who defeated the Atlanta Falcons 26-10, have won 16 consecutive regular-season games against the NFC, the longest winning streak any team has posted against the opposite conference since the 1970 merger.

(It’s a lot easier to win games when you have a league protecting your ass in case you get a hangnail in the pocket, but I digress. I respect Tom Brady, but I wish the league would respect the greatness of Fred Taylor as well. The ex-Jacksonville Jaguar was a steal as a free-agent pickup and his 21 carry, 105 yards rushing was the real difference for the Patriots. It’s called balance; and Taylor, like Brady, belongs in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.)

  • Philadelphia quarterback KEVIN KOLB passed for 327 yards in the Eagles’ 34-14 win over the Kansas City Chiefs, his second consecutive 300-yard game.Kolb became the first quarterback in NFL history to pass for 300 yards in each of his first two career starts.

(This statistic belongs in the “big fucking deal” category. Kolb, who choked in prime time last season when Eagle management wanted to hand him the starting spot at quarterback, threw for almost 400 yards in his first start because he threw 3 interceptions; and was playing catch-up for the entire second half in their Week 2 loss to the New Orleans Saints! And he beat the Chiefs – a team that frankly they were supposed to beat! Let’s see some bona fide wins – as in when the Iggles have to play someone they need to beat instead of an inferior opponent. Knowing Kolb was hand-picked by Andy Reid, and Vick is continuing his ghettoization on the Wildcat plantation, Eagles’ fans need to pray for a speedy recovery for Donovan McNabb.)

  • Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver-punt returner DE SEAN JACKSON had a 64-yard touchdown reception in the Eagles’ 34-14 win over the Kansas City Chiefs. Jackson has now scored a touchdown of at least 60 yards in all three games and is the first player in NFL history with a 60+ yard TD in each of his team’s first three games of a season.

(While I am happy for young Mr. Jackson, I just want him to get across the goal line first before celebrating! And, now that you have had your moment, my brother, stay on the j-o-b and keep it crack-a-lackin’ – we’re gonna need you!)

  • Minnesota rookie wide receiver-kick returner PERCY HARVIN had a 101-yard kickoff return touchdown in the Vikings’ 27-24 win over the San Francisco 49ers. Harvin has now scored a touchdown in all three games and joins Dallas’ FELIX JONES (2008) as the only rookies in the past five years to score a touchdown in each of the first three games of a season.

(A good start for the young man touted by many to be Offensive Rookie of the Year; but God only knows how many fantasy assholes are creaming in their pants because of Harvin!)

  • Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver HINES WARD (10,022) recorded 82 receiving yards and joined the exclusive 10,000 receiving yards club.Ward became only the fifth player in NFL history with 10,000 career receiving yards all with one team (Colts, MARVIN HARRISON; Seahawks, STEVE LARGENT; Cowboys, MICHAEL IRVIN; Broncos, ROD SMITH).

    Ward, who has 818 career receptions, also became just the 21st player in NFL history to record 800 receptions and 10,000 receiving yards in a career.

(The good news is Hines Ward is being further recognized as one of the most complete receivers in football; the bad news is Ward will continue the Steelers’ backlog of potential Hall of Famers. We already know L.C. Greenwood, Ernie Holmes and Donnie Shell should already be in – now Ward will have to wait along with Greg Lloyd, Joey Porter, Dermontti Dawson, Jerome Bettis – and the band played on…)

  • The 30-year age difference between head coaches TOM COUGHLIN (63) of the New York Giants and RAHEEM MORRIS (33) of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers marks just the second time in the past 10 seasons that two head coaches have faced one another with a gap of at least 30 years. The last time it happened was November 4, 2007 when JOE GIBBS (66) of the Washington Redskins faced ERIC MANGINI (36) of the New York Jets.

(I would prefer to remember that the real difference between Raheem Morris and Tom Coughlin is that in spite of the age difference, Morris knows a little bit about football, unlike the mistake near the Lake and Cleveland’s long-term woes in selecting NFL “Super Genius” Eric Mangini. The league’s answer to Wile E. Coyote will have the Dawg Pound denizens gnawing on their own bones before mid-season. The Browns would’ve been better getting a head coach from the Acme Company!)

Always remember, once the first point is confirmed on the dice table, if you throw a seven…you crap out!

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