BUFFALO STANCE

Buffalo Stance By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor – in – Chief BASN           To Whom It May Concern:   My name is Michael – Louis Ingram, and I am a native New Yorker.   As someone who has been involved in journalism for almost 30 years (and covered the National […]

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96 Fears

96 Fears By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor BASN       PHILADELPHIA (BASN – STR/ITR): This declaration was first brought up after Michael Vick had just come out the joint as The Mouse was riding their propaganda hobby horse: “Name me 32 quarterbacks better than Michael Vick!” I don’t know what reaction I enjoyed […]

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To Define Excellence

To Define Excellence By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor BASN         PHILADELPHIA -(BASN – STR/ITR) – Chuck Ealey, the quarterback of the Toledo University Rockets, leads his team to an undefeated season in 1969: 45 – 18 over Villanova; 38 – 13 over Marshall; 34 – 9 over Ohio University; 27 – […]

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Slime Time

Slime Time By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor BASN         “The game is a safe game, the equipment is better; I don’t buy all these guys coming back with these concussions. I’m not buying all that. Half these guys are trying to make money off the deal. That’s real talk. That’s really […]

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The Pigskin Plantation Top 25

The Pigskin Plantation Top 25 By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor BASN     PHILADELPHIA (BASN/BASN NEWSROOM): With every college football conference scheming and jockeying for better opportunities and more money, the veneer of amateur has long lost its eligibility.   So since these muthafuckas act like gangstas, let’s break it down like Tony Montana: […]

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Seven and Out – Week Thirteen

Seven and Out – Week Thirteen By Michael -Louis Ingram, Editor BASN   PHILADELPHIA (BASN/BASN NEWSROOM) – We devote this issue of Seven & Out to the Cincinnati Bengals, the NFL’s most improved team (and Tiger Woods’ unofficial favorite squad).Cincy’s former Puddy Tats have some serious growl goin’ on, and are poised to win their […]

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BLACK Friday

BLACK Friday By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor BASN     “Attention Wal-Mart shoppers – you are now free to buy cheap 50-inch televisions, iPods, and laptop computers without guilt…”   PHILADELPHIA (BASN/BASN NEWSROOM) — In a courtroom in Kennett, Missouri, the “Show-Me” state showed everyone the antediluvian attitudes which accelerated the influx of assholes […]

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The N-Files, Volume III

The N-Files, Volume III By Michael – Louis Ingram, Editor BASN     PHILADELPHIA (BASN/BASN NEWSROOM) — Later that same evening…   N-Files Glossary: UPS (Ultrasonic Pulse Scanner); BIG UPS (Bilateral Integrated Ghost Ultrasonic Pulse Scanner); RATs (Residual Audio Templates); MAUS (Mobile Analog Uplink Source) RBG (Red Black Green, aka Reparations by Graduations); MAMA (Modified […]

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Lost And Turned Out

Lost and Turned Out By Michael – Louis Ingram BASN     PHILADELPHIA (BASN/BASN NEWSROOM) — “With the first pick of the 2006 NFL Draft, the Denver Broncos select Maurice Clarett, running back from Ohio State University.” The scene in New York City was awash with well-wishers and camera flashes, as the young man steps […]

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NEVER $teal Anything – $mall!

Never $teal Anything – $mall! By Michael – Louis Ingram, Columnist BASN       “To make it in the rackets, you’ve got to have gall. So never — ever — steal anything small!!!” — Jimmy Cagney in “Never Steal Anything Small.”   PHILADELPHIA (BASN/BASN NEWSROOM)— The great American humorist Mark Twain once said, “There […]

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